MY WORLD: [my favorite things][writings & musings]
CYBERGRRL WEBSTATION: [planet cybergrrl] [cybergrrl village] [webgrrls] [femina] [womenzone]
I actually pride myself in saying that I'm not a techy. Honestly, I'm not technically trained, didn't go to school for computers, wasn't exceptionally good at Math or Science (or at least wasn't encouraged to pursue them), and didn't even touch a computer until I was out of college (yep, learned about computers when I was a secretary for a temp agency). So why doesn't anyone believe me? (Yeah yeah, you have an online media company, you have 5 websites of your own, you teach people about the Internet and the World Wide Web. Sure, uh huh.)
Looking back, I wonder how did a shy girl who wanted to be a writer turn into a webmistress and owner of her own online media studio? I think it all began in grade school where I had to read the Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury novels for class assignments. I remember having vivid dreams about the strange worlds introduced in Bradbury's science fiction stories and began writing odd stories of my own. Now some of my favorite writers include William Gibson, Bruce Sterling, Tim Powers and other cyberpunk writers. And what about the movies that I like? I gravitated towards brilliant sci-fi and fantasy pics like Bladerunner, the first Highlander, Legend and Excalibur. Were these the entertainment fare of a girl?
The moment I bought my first computer (late 80's, with money from selling my car when I moved to New York City), I was addicted. What was the appeal? Why did I sit in front of my Amstrad 1640 with dual floppies, no harddrive, and a 1200 bps modem, for hours and hours? My sister and my roommates began to express their concern for my lack of social interaction, my obsessive attachment to my little machine. And only a few years before I rejected computers as cold, soulless, horrible things that sapped creativity and encouraged monotony. Little did I know, computers would soon become the impetus for some of my best creativity to date.
Still, in those early days, I would look at the strange box and ASCII text before my eyes and wanted to go inside and figure it all out. Without any training, manuals or help, I would hack away at DOS, making things happen, tinkering, figuring anything out that I needed. Someone showed me how to dial into local BBS's and I went straight for the "word adventures" as I called them (which I later learned were basically MOO's and MUD's - oh, here's a little MOO inspired by Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash" where I could enter new worlds, encounter strange characters, and try to solve the puzzles.
Okay, so I've never been a hard-core hacker or even a novice hacker, but I attribute my failure to pursue the mysterious depths of ones and zeros to having to earn a living in a regular job. I wasn't living at home when I discovered computers, so I didn't have those luxurious and carefree years where I could hack without fear of not being able to pay rent. I met a budding 15 year old hacker last year online, and I could see that he didn't have any worries as he spent hours exploring and learning new tricks. I, on the other hand, had to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep so I could wake up at a reasonable hour the next day to run my business. So these days, I live vicariously through publications such as 2600, Phrack and Gray Areas and through the stories of Mitnick and Shimomura, Phiber Optik and in the pages of WiReD.
If I had found computers a few years earlier while I was still supported by my parents, would I be one of the eLiTe hackers today? And even if I were truly skilled at carding and phreaking and all that good stuff, would I truly be accepted into the ultimate ranks of hackerdom? After all, I'm just a grrl...
Cybergrrl salutes the hackers of the world! Hey, what is everyone afraid of? You don't really believe they're out to get you and your credit card, do you? Don't you think they have better things to do with their lives?